Bye Dad

I'm sad to report that on Friday 20 May at 11:40pm my Dad lost his fight with cancer.  His final decline was, mercifully, very very quick.  I returned him to St Catherine's Hospice in Scarborough on the Tuesday after he was complaining of pains in his chest and being unable to stop coughing.  By Friday morning he lapsed from consciousness and remained that way until the end. 

During the Friday he was constantly surrounded by his family. The older grandchildren all got time to see him and say their goodbye and passed on their love for him.  The rest of us generally made sure that the room was one of laughter and happy memories and thoughts.  We discussed his ability to cheat at Scrabble, his admiration of Carol Vordemann of Countdown fame, his attempts of ensuring he got attention from the nursing staff and where he'd hidden his wallet so we couldn't get at it.  He was forever a practical man and would have been disappointed if we'd have sat their mourning him.

Now is the time for mourning.  Right now I have that guilty feeling that I'm glad he went quickly and peacefully but my heart aches for him and I miss him dearly.  He was a rock in the family - never short of wit and wisdom (often with his tongue firmly planted in his cheek).  When we found out that Perse was on her way with her heart problems and Down Syndrome I remember him saying that he didn't think he would have been able to cope with a child with these problems.  From the first moment he saw her he was smitten.  P, a girl of few words, did manage 'Grandad' as one of her first.  He was always there for us everytime we ended up rushing off to hospital at the drop of a hat.  But for all his grandchildren he was a limitless well of love and affection. 

There are so many things that I'd like to say but right now I can't form them into words.

Dad, we love you, we'll miss you but we'll never forget you.