Friday, August 06, 2010

Dying is easy...

...it's living that's hard.

I guess this is essentially a message to my Dad.  Okay so it's probably an example of teaching Grandma (or Grandpa) to suck eggs but tough.

First and foremost cancer sucks, we know that and all have had some sort of exposure to it.  But, just to be sure, this post is that reminder that, as the title says, dying is easy.  After all life itself is a terminal condition beset with many, many opportunies to make us reach the end much more quickly that we want.  Against all this adversity we make avoiding moves or, if we have to, battle them.

And that is where the point of this is.  Fighting.  Yes Dad that does mean you have to do something I'm afraid.

First: MINDSET - don't you dare neglect this one.  It's much more important than you think.  Depression is a sure fire way of letting the bad stuff run riot and must be beaten back at all costs.

Next: ACTIVITY - I know an alien concept!  But to help with the mindset you need activity.  Do something!  Get a new game, work on that family tree anything that lets you thumb a nose to medical time scales!  After all mediciine is nearly as much art as science - you start in one place but doesn't always finish where you expect.  Even just getting out when you need a drink rather than just going to the kitchen.  Get in the car and head off to a cafe and sit and appreciate the view.  You don't need any more of a purpose than that to do something.

Which leads to REASONS - why fight it? Which I know is your intention but I'm going to mention it to reinforce it anyway.  Well, first and foremost, family.  Mum's, wife, us pesky kids & their partners and the grandchildren.  There is lots of love there and still experiences to be had (see ACTIVITY).  As I said "living is hard" and, regardless of who passes, if it's someone we love and care for, then we have to, and will, continue our to battles against life.  Several times already we've seen Captain Chaos fight with life to let her go on and she's kicked it's ass.  Anyway, for the time being, with us being lazy you can do some of the hard work (see MINDSET and ACTIVITY).

So that's the message.  In Frank Herbert's Dune cycle of books the religious order of the Bene Gesserit have a litany against fear.  And it's something that I do keep in mind at times as I think that it's got a certain validity and truth to it.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain

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1 Comments:

At 9:00 am , Blogger Sarah said...

Good advice, not just for your Dad. We could all do a bit more 'living'....

 

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