Right - time to post

I don't seem to have had a moment to take breath for the next few weeks.  It's been all go, go, go! 

My Dad has now had his second dose of chemo and his battling well.  So please do keep up the prayers and good thoughts for him.

School is now back and we now have two in Secondary School - that's making me feel very, very old now.  They all enjoy school a great deal and Captain Chaos wore her school uniform throughout summer nearly as often as if they were there.

Last week I was, again, knocked off my motorbike by someone cutting a corner to make a turn.  For a few moments after the crash I thought I'd managed to keep it off the tarmac until momentum took off and slammed me down.  Unfortunately the bike landed on the nose of the fairing and the damage to it is starting to look expensive.  The insurers are thinking about writing it off - which I'd be very upset about as it's been a great bike.  I may end up having to get it back and do the repair work myself.

The weekend was then rounded off by Sarah injuring her back.  At the moment she's suffering badly with it and I'm hoping that it'll start to ease up pretty soon.  I hate that back's are so easy to damage, I'm pretty sure that there is a design flaw there.

I promise that I'll catch up a little with books and songs during the week - I really shouldn't get out of the habit of posting.

Lazy Days

Yeah I know - I've had a few of them lately!  But at the same time we've been having a whole lot of fun too.

First off was the Sonisphere Festival.  That was totally awesome.  With some trepidation we took Captain Chaos with us.  Yes, for four nights of camping and 3 days of rock and metal festival we took her.  And you know what? She was excellent.  She did as she was told, held hands when she needed too and had a great time from the first band hitting the stage to the last.  I was very surprised at the number of people that commented on her or took photos of her having a great time with her siblings.  People would see her and give big, genuine smiles at her.

But what about the festival? I hear you say.  Well maybe not, but I'm going to tell you anyway.  It was fantastic.  The crowd, the facilities, the location, the staff - I couldn't really fault anything about it.  We saw most of the bands on the two main stages so didn't get much chance to get around and see the bands on the little stages.  Every band gave it their all.  I did escape the family a couple of times and headed down the front to see Skunk Anansie and Iggy & the Stooges.  Rammstein impressed me on Saturday night,  I was converted from a casual fan to a real fan.  As well as the stage show they sounded as tight and as clear as they do on record.  As for Iron Maiden, what can I say that has not been said before.  A true, honest and excellent performance.  They are a band that never, ever fail to deliver and always relate to the audience.  It doesn't matter what size crowd they are playing to they are never aloof or distanced from their fans.

So what else is going on?  Well we went to visit the in-laws in Devon and went camping again.  We stayed at Harford Bridge Holiday Park near Tavistock.  This is the second time we've stayed there and it is a beautiful place with great facilities.  I highly recommend it if you're having a trip to Devon.  It is in a little bend in the Tavy River and right on the edge of Dartmoor. 

The real highlight of our trip though was our visit to the local leisure pool where they have a water slide.  Well the older two both threw themselves down it with out any worries whilst Captain Chaos watched from the water at the bottom.  Then she decided that she wanted a go.  So off she went with her sister to the top of the slide whilst we waited at the bottom wholeheartedly expecting to have to collect her when she changed her mind.  But, no!  Captain Chaos threw herself into the slide and plunged into the water at the bottom where I was waiting to grab her and haul her from under the water.  From where we were with her earlier this year and being unable to get her in the pool to this is a fantastic change.  We were so impressed with her and made sure that she knew it.

Anyway, I currently having a break at home for the week now and I will try to construct a more coherent (for me) post.  But I'd just like to wish my Dad the best as he's recovering from his first course of chemotherapy with a little sickness and feeling shattered.

 

Dying is easy...

...it's living that's hard.

I guess this is essentially a message to my Dad.  Okay so it's probably an example of teaching Grandma (or Grandpa) to suck eggs but tough.

First and foremost cancer sucks, we know that and all have had some sort of exposure to it.  But, just to be sure, this post is that reminder that, as the title says, dying is easy.  After all life itself is a terminal condition beset with many, many opportunies to make us reach the end much more quickly that we want.  Against all this adversity we make avoiding moves or, if we have to, battle them.

And that is where the point of this is.  Fighting.  Yes Dad that does mean you have to do something I'm afraid.

First: MINDSET - don't you dare neglect this one.  It's much more important than you think.  Depression is a sure fire way of letting the bad stuff run riot and must be beaten back at all costs.

Next: ACTIVITY - I know an alien concept!  But to help with the mindset you need activity.  Do something!  Get a new game, work on that family tree anything that lets you thumb a nose to medical time scales!  After all mediciine is nearly as much art as science - you start in one place but doesn't always finish where you expect.  Even just getting out when you need a drink rather than just going to the kitchen.  Get in the car and head off to a cafe and sit and appreciate the view.  You don't need any more of a purpose than that to do something.

Which leads to REASONS - why fight it? Which I know is your intention but I'm going to mention it to reinforce it anyway.  Well, first and foremost, family.  Mum's, wife, us pesky kids & their partners and the grandchildren.  There is lots of love there and still experiences to be had (see ACTIVITY).  As I said "living is hard" and, regardless of who passes, if it's someone we love and care for, then we have to, and will, continue our to battles against life.  Several times already we've seen Captain Chaos fight with life to let her go on and she's kicked it's ass.  Anyway, for the time being, with us being lazy you can do some of the hard work (see MINDSET and ACTIVITY).

So that's the message.  In Frank Herbert's Dune cycle of books the religious order of the Bene Gesserit have a litany against fear.  And it's something that I do keep in mind at times as I think that it's got a certain validity and truth to it.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain

The March of Time

I've been absent from my blog for two weeks now and really should get into the habit of writing more frequently.  But this week we got the news we didn't want to hear about my Dad and his cancer.  Contrary to earlier reports it has spread and is attacking other areas.  Timetables for with and without treatment have been given and the calendar suddenly becomes less of a friend that points to happy occassions. 

Again I've seen tremendous strength in our family, especially in Dad.  He's decided already that he's going for treatment so there is a spark of fight in there that's not been extinguished with this diagnosis and he knows that whatever happens here on in he has (and has always had) the love, strength and support of us all.  He also knows that he's not going to be let out of his grandfatherly duties let alone receive anything less than the usual level of torment that he attracts from us.

We all have our ways of coping when someone puts a "timetable" on you, or gives you the "odds of success".  It's something that we have faced several times already with Captain Chaos.  Life is a fragile thing at the best of times - all that seperates physical life from death is a breath.  To me this means that we need to deal with each day as it comes to us.  We need make plans for the future, and it's right to make plans for the future, but we do also need to live in the here and now.  Today is today, when tomorrow gets here then I'll deal with that then.  But I'm starting to ramble a little now!

What I'm simply trying to say is "Dad, as you fight this we are here as a family to help you, to support you and be with you.  We love you and cherish you...and don't forget to send me that £20 note for saying that :)"

And in addition to this - being a Friday I've just heard a song that is about as appropriate as I can get...

Van Halen - Right Now

Don't wanna wait 'til tomorrow

Why put it off another day?
One by one, little problems
Build up, and stand in our way. Oh

One step ahead, one step behind it
Now ya gotta run to get even
Make future plans I'll dream about yesterday, hey!
Come on turn, turn this thing around

(Right now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) Catch your magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything

Miss a beat, you lose a rhythm
And nothin' falls into place. No!
Only missed by a fraction
Slipped a little off your pace. Oh!

The more things you get, the more you want
Just trade in one for another
Workin' so hard to make it easy
Whoa, got to turn. Come on, turn this thing around

(Right now) Hey, it's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) catch that magic moment
Do it right here and now
It means everything

Said a lie to me
Right now
What are ya waitin' for? Oh! Yeah!
Right now

(Right now) Hey! It's your tomorrow
(Right now) Come on, it's everything
(Right now) Catch that magic moment
And do it right, right now (Right now)
Oh, right now!

It's what's happening
Right here and now
Right now, it's right now
Oh! Tell me, what are ya waitin' for?
Turn this thing around

You don't get as long for murder!

Happy Anniversary to my Mum and Dad!  50 - yes 50 whole years!

Now I only had to live with them for 20 years so I know that managing 50 years (600 months) is more than pretty good going.  Yep - 18,262 whole days of being together!  Three wonderful, talented, intelligent kids.  6 and 8/9ths grandchildren (all completely barking in their own ways and I'm sure that the upcoming arrival isn't going to be breaking that mould!).

So what can I say about them.  Speaking for myself - and I'm sure my siblings will agree - they have been great parents.  They've had to put up with the three of us who've all been made strong willed and pretty stubbon at times but still have fostered a strong sense of family.  We've had our disagreements (small and large) but that's all they've ever been.  Nothing ever seemed to last for a long time, grudges were not held.

Our house always seemed to be full of friends coming and going.  I'd hate to imagine how many meals and drinks have been happily shared over the years.  Many times, especially during summer, there would be three sets of friends descending like locusts on the supplies.  Again, something I think we've all taken away with us and made us pretty good grown ups (well as grown up as we get!).

But they've been there during the tough times too for us.  We've never felt like we were alone with a problem - they would do what they could for us.  We couldn't ask for more than that and are very grateful for it.  Sometimes we don't express it as clearly as we should and personally I often feel that I wish I could do much more than I do as I don't think I can adequately repay everything they've done.

So, Happy Anniversary to you both - I hope you have a good day and I think we're all looking forward to getting the family together in one place this weekend.